Music as Transformation

One thing I began to notice is that different types of music will resonate with me depending on my mental and emotional state. One of the reasons I love Beethoven's music is that it can go from one extreme of emotion to another without effort. And an interesting effect would happen sometimes; I'd be in a mood where the intense beginning would resonate with me, and I would feel very connected to the music. Then, it would later shift gracefully to a peaceful section... and my own internal state would shift right along with it.

And yet, when I would try listening to a completely "peaceful" piece when I'm in an "intense" mood, it just wouldn't work. It would feel off, empty. I would get irritated, then switch to heavy metal. Just as with teaching and tutoring (see my previous post on the topic) or a well written story, in order for music to transform the listener, it has to first make a connection with their initial state. Then, the more believable or smooth the transition to another state, the more likely a transformation will occur.


It occurred to me that I could use music as a way to intentionally transform pain or a bad mood into a more positive mindset. Unfortunately, the majority of the songs I own tend to stick to just one "mood" throughout, and the ones that did switch between moods might not have the exact effect I was looking for. So I created five different playlists and filled them with my favourite songs, numbered in order of "happiness level". So playlist 1 would have songs that resonated with me when I felt intense pain, anger, and other similar emotions, playlist 2 had sad songs, playlist 3 bitter-sweet songs, playlist 2 was upbeat, and playlist 1 contained the most joyful, celebratory songs I could find.

Once my playlists were created, I began to test them out in practice. Whenever I would find myself in a bad mood and feeling like some music, I would choose the playlist that seemed to resonate most with me at that particular time. After a few songs I'd switch to the next level up, and so on. Finding the right amount of time to spend on each playlist was a little tricky. Too short and the transition would feel far too abrupt. Too long and I'd risk reinforcing a bad mood. In general though between two and four songs from each playlist seemed to work well for me.

My results: A consistent and noticeable improvement. In most cases bringing myself from a 2 to a 4 was pretty easy. On rare occasions I was able to go from a 1 to a 5, but it was time consuming. Occasionally I could identify a good "transition song" that would help me move more smoothly from, say, playlist 2 to playlist 3. When I couldn't manage that, switching playlists would feel a little uncomfortable at first. With a little concentration I could get back in the flow after a few minutes, perhaps because the gap between the song and my mental state were minimal enough.

Side note: I can always tell whether a song is resonating with me or not based on my reaction to it and how closely I'm paying attention. For example, if I'm in a pretty good mood, Metallica's Unforgiven will either seem too intense and I'll switch to a different piece, or I'll think it's nice to hear, pay half attention, or analyse and admire it from a distance. If I happen to be feeling down about life, however, I'm guaranteed to have tears streaming down my face the instant it gets to the chorus.

Restless Creativity

It's one of those days when my thoughts and emotions are too scrambled to untangle. After coming home from class today, all I really wanted to do was take a nap. But I can't seem to sleep right now. I keep sitting down at the piano or picking up the guitar...playing the same old pieces. Pieces I wrote so long ago and played so many times that it's just not expressing the feelings in a satisfying way. And nothing new is coming today. I get stretches of time where the notes come so easily it takes me by surprise. In fact, last Saturday I wrote an entire song practically in one day. Right now though, the music is as muddled and aimless as my thoughts.

I want to do other stuff now too. Like my math homework. I find math problems very calming (provided I'm not under a time constraint). However, I know from earlier today that my brain is too confused and tired for that, too. So, maybe I'll take a nap after all and let my subconscious sort things out. Restless thoughts and unidentifiable emotions can make for some pretty interesting dreams.