Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Myers-Briggs Test Results

I took the Myers-Briggs test today. I was a solid INTP for many years, then in the past few years my results have been fluctuating quite a lot. This doesn't really surprise me. Right now I came out as an INFP, but last year I was an INFJ (still fairly close to the middle on the J).

Apart from the test results, however, I noticed something quite interesting when taking the test; for the questions on socializing, a lot of my preferences are shifting towards wanting to be around people, but my actions are that of keeping to myself. For the questions on thinking/feeling, I have a much higher value on feeling than I used to (that was the shift from T to F), but my actions are based on logical reasoning. I dislike too much order (it's starting to make me feel more trapped than supported), but I tend to plan everything out before acting.

Seeing a pattern here? My inner motivations are changing long before my actions can. After a life spent keeping to myself, it's hard learning how to interact with people more, even if I have had a major shift in value towards wanting to. That's something I knew already, but it just made it even more clear to me that I'm changing in a lot of different areas internally.

On the one hand, I'm going through a rather confusing and challenging time, since my internal values are not matching up with my ability to express them or my actions. On the other hand, my shift in values is growing stronger, not weaker, meaning I'm not going to give up until they start to show through.

One last thing I'd like to talk about is my belief about change: I don't think one personality type is better than another. In fact, I was very happy, even proud, of being an INTP. But I've been getting this strong urge to explore... everything. Thoughts, feelings, ideas, the world around me, the world within me, and all the ways they can come together.

One of my current goals may be to become more social, but that doesn't mean I want to replace my old personality; rather, I'd like to have the ability to be both. I'd like to be able to change labels whenever I feel like it, to be unafraid of new things, to understand different ways of thinking and perceiving, and to continue to change even after achieving whatever the most recent goal may have been.