Regrets

I'm thinking about old friends. An old friend I let down once. Don't know that I'll ever see him again, and it gets me wondering if he's all right now. If the world's been kind since the cruelty of childhood. If he knows I wished to have done better. If things are going to turn out all right after all the pains of the past... I just hope things are different now.

And then I wonder; should I try to contact him, or would that be self interest? A need to ease the guilt and regret? Could I undo the wrongs of before by being the friend now that I always meant to be? Or should I just...let it all go. Do better next time. Well yes, I'll do better next time, but what about the past, is it really gone? I don't know. What I do know is that I'm never going to lose my friends of now like that. No matter what the circumstances, I'll find a way to be there for them. Somehow, I will learn.

Life is such an odd sensation, isn't it? This bunch of memories, sometimes lurking in the back of your mind, jumping out at you in your dreams when you least expect them. Why? Life is so strange. Regrets right alongside the desperate hopes which feel much the same. No time like the present, they say. I have to agree.